Guild Wars Forums - GW Guru
 
 

Go Back   Guild Wars Forums - GW Guru > The Outer Circle > Off-Topic & the Absurd

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old Oct 05, 2005, 07:24 PM // 19:24   #61
Sir
 
Mistress Eyahl's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: The Uk
Guild: Burnt Absolution
Profession: W/E
Advertisement

Disable Ads
Default

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?

..time to get a new fence o_o
Mistress Eyahl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 05, 2005, 07:30 PM // 19:30   #62
I Hate Everything
 
EchoSex's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Boston, MA
Profession: N/W
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Divinitys Creature
What does a cow without lips say?

OOOOOOO
LOL I love that one.
EchoSex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 05, 2005, 07:32 PM // 19:32   #63
Sir
 
Mistress Eyahl's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: The Uk
Guild: Burnt Absolution
Profession: W/E
Default

What time is it when AW sits on your fence..?
Mistress Eyahl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 05, 2005, 08:12 PM // 20:12   #64
Jungle Guide
 
Xue Yi Liang's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Northern CA
Guild: Outlaws of the Water Margin
Profession: Mo/Me
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Divinitys Creature
What does a cow without lips say?

OOOOOOO
hahaha
Xue Yi Liang is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 05, 2005, 08:27 PM // 20:27   #65
Frost Gate Guardian
 
Naprius's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: mtricht
Guild: Limburgse Jagers
Profession: W/Mo
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by kg_lildude1
laugh at the wise man and he will contemplate...
laugh at the fool and he will laugh back...
laugh at the dumbass and he will laugh at the fire hydrant...

laugh at me and i'll slap you silly
Naprius is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 05, 2005, 08:59 PM // 20:59   #66
Krytan Explorer
 
Divinitys Creature's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Somewhere between the Real World and Tyria ;P
Guild: The Gothic Embrace [Goth]
Default

How come I can never remember jokes when I need to?
Divinitys Creature is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 05, 2005, 09:12 PM // 21:12   #67
Furnace Stoker
 
Sir Skullcrasher's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: California
Guild: 15 over 50 [Rare]
Profession: W/Mo
Default

What is silver and blue and has a star on their head?

The Dallas Cowboys
Sir Skullcrasher is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 05, 2005, 09:38 PM // 21:38   #68
Academy Page
 
Tzhebee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: WA (GMT-8)
Guild: The Imperium of Lazy Nation [LaZy]
Profession: Mo/
Default

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam

How does a crazy person get through the woods?
They take the psycho path

What sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your mom

A penguin is driving through Arizona when his oil light comes on. So he pulls over to a service station to see what the problem is. The attendant tells him to come back in an hour after he has had a chance to look at the car. So the penguin goes for a walk and comes upon an ice cream stand. He's a penguin, he's in Arizona, it's really hot, so he decides that a big bowl of vanilla ice cream would be very refreshing. He sits down to eat but of course, he has no hands, so he just buries his face in the bowl and makes a great mess. By the time he is done he has ice cream all over him. He is embarrassed because he can't clean himself up, but he heads back to the service station. When he sees the mechanic, he says, "Did you find out what's wrong with my car?" The mechanic replies, "It looks like you blew a seal." "No no," says the penguin, "it's just ice cream."

It vuss a hot day in Minnesota. Helga hung the wash, put a roast in the oven and went downtown to pick up some dry cleaning. “Gudness, it’s hot,” she mused as she walked down Main street. She passed by a tavern and thought “Vy, nodt?” So, Helga sat at the bar and the bartender asked her what she would like to drink. Helga said “Ya know, it’s zo hot, I tink I’ll haff myself a fold beer.” The bartender asked “Anheuser Busch?” Helga, surprised, replied, “Vell fine, tanks. Undt how’s yurr pecker??”
Tzhebee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 05, 2005, 09:57 PM // 21:57   #69
Frost Gate Guardian
 
kg_lildude1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Guild: Lionheart Braves [LHB]
Profession: W/
Default

wud ya get when a elephant crosses with a rhino?
elephino...


you have tp read the answer outloud phoneticallly to get it
kg_lildude1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 06, 2005, 12:41 PM // 12:41   #70
Jungle Guide
 
Xue Yi Liang's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Northern CA
Guild: Outlaws of the Water Margin
Profession: Mo/Me
Default

Q: How does a male elephant find a female elephant in the tall grass?

A: Very nice.
Xue Yi Liang is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 06, 2005, 03:32 PM // 15:32   #71
Frost Gate Guardian
 
kg_lildude1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Guild: Lionheart Braves [LHB]
Profession: W/
Default

what does a duck do without a bill?
chirp like a birdey!
kg_lildude1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 06, 2005, 04:05 PM // 16:05   #72
Frost Gate Guardian
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Baltimore, MD, USA
Default

Two W/Mo's rented a boat to go fishing in the bay. They get out there and are catching all sorts of fish all day long. One of them says to the other "Man, i wish we had a way to mark this place in the bay so we can come back" So the other one looks around, grabs a black marker and puts a big X on the bottom of the boat. The other W/Mo looks at him and says "You're a freaking idiot! What makes you think we'll get this boat next time?"
John Waffletord is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 06, 2005, 04:07 PM // 16:07   #73
Academy Page
 
Virgo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: SC, Charleston
Profession: W/Mo
Default

ROFLCOPTERS!!!!LOLSKATERS!!!....that's awesome....


Waaaaaaaait....are you saying W/Mo's are stupid?

Why didn't he put the black X on himself?????
Jeez
Virgo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 06, 2005, 04:50 PM // 16:50   #74
Jungle Guide
 
Xue Yi Liang's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Northern CA
Guild: Outlaws of the Water Margin
Profession: Mo/Me
Default

What do you call a ranger dwarf? A short-ranger.

What does a death necro have for supper? Filet Minion.

Who went from 110 lbs (50 kg) to 12 oz. post-sear? Althea.

What do you call henchmen in a lava lake? Hench-fries.

What do you call a 55 monk who claims he's a healer? The first quitter in the party.

What do you call a ranger whose teammates are too impatient to wait for him to set traps? The guy who has to rez everyone.
Xue Yi Liang is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 06, 2005, 05:20 PM // 17:20   #75
Krytan Explorer
 
Count Feanor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Hellsing Organization or... RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!
Guild: The Royal Priesthood
Profession: N/W
Talking

Quote:
Originally Posted by Xue Yi Liang
What do you call a ranger dwarf? A short-ranger.

What does a death necro have for supper? Filet Minion.

Who went from 110 lbs (50 kg) to 12 oz. post-sear? Althea.

What do you call henchmen in a lava lake? Hench-fries.

What do you call a 55 monk who claims he's a healer? The first quitter in the party.

What do you call a ranger whose teammates are too impatient to wait for him to set traps? The guy who has to rez everyone.
That's hilarious. I especially liked the fillet Minion. LOL
Count Feanor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 06, 2005, 05:32 PM // 17:32   #76
Ascalonian Squire
 
Doooom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Guild: From Light/Of Darkness
Profession: N/E
Default

A blonde boards a plane and sits down in first class. Another customer comes up and says, "Pardon me, but you're in my seat." She says, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I've never flown before and I'm not moving." Not sure what to do, the customer asks a flight attendant for assistance. The flight attendant asks for her ticket, and then tells her that her seat is in coach. The blonde says "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I've never flown before and I'm not moving." Completely flustered, the attendant gets the pilot and tells him what's going on. The pilot calmly walks back and whispers something into the blonde's ear. The blonde jumps up and runs to coach as fast as possible. The attendant asks, "What did you tell her?" His reply: "I told her this part of the plane wasn't going to Hawaii."
Doooom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 06, 2005, 05:38 PM // 17:38   #77
Ascalonian Squire
 
Doooom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Guild: From Light/Of Darkness
Profession: N/E
Default

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are arrested and are brought before a firing squad. The squad commander blindfolds the brunette and places her in front of the squad. He then counts off "1.... 2...." and the brunette suddenly screams "Earthquake!!!!" The squad is distracted and she flees to safety.
The squad commander then blindfolds the redhead and places her in front of the squad. He counts off "1.... 2...." and the redhead screams "Tornado!!!!" Again, the squad is distracted and she flees to safety.
The blonde is blindfolded and placed in front of the squad. The commander counts "1.... 2...." and the blonde screams "Fire!!!!"
Doooom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 06, 2005, 05:47 PM // 17:47   #78
Sir
 
Mistress Eyahl's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: The Uk
Guild: Burnt Absolution
Profession: W/E
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Doooom
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are arrested and are brought before a firing squad. The squad commander blindfolds the brunette and places her in front of the squad. He then counts off "1.... 2...." and the brunette suddenly screams "Earthquake!!!!" The squad is distracted and she flees to safety.
The squad commander then blindfolds the redhead and places her in front of the squad. He counts off "1.... 2...." and the redhead screams "Tornado!!!!" Again, the squad is distracted and she flees to safety.
The blonde is blindfolded and placed in front of the squad. The commander counts "1.... 2...." and the blonde screams "Fire!!!!"
That... is RED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GOING brilliant!!! Best joke I've ever heard!!!
Mistress Eyahl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 06, 2005, 06:17 PM // 18:17   #79
Ascalonian Squire
 
Doooom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Guild: From Light/Of Darkness
Profession: N/E
Default

Ty... those are my two favorite blonde jokes
Doooom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 06, 2005, 07:03 PM // 19:03   #80
Frost Gate Guardian
 
kg_lildude1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Guild: Lionheart Braves [LHB]
Profession: W/
Default

LOL great one doooom
kg_lildude1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Share This Forum!  
 
 
           

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Ask a dumb question, get a dumb answer! nightrunner Off-Topic & the Absurd 5209 Sep 25, 2006 10:59 PM // 22:59
The Dumb Questions Thread Xue Yi Liang Off-Topic & the Absurd 23 Nov 30, 2005 01:18 AM // 01:18
Dumb question for a dumb person Haroldo Questions & Answers 10 Nov 30, 2005 12:18 AM // 00:18


All times are GMT. The time now is 07:15 AM // 07:15.


Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
jQuery(document).ready(checkAds()); function checkAds(){if (document.getElementById('adsense')!=undefined){document.write("_gaq.push(['_trackEvent', 'Adblock', 'Unblocked', 'false',,true]);");}else{document.write("